Raising someone up can bring the economy down?

Allowing someone to affect the global economy this way is not wise. It makes me wonder why? Think of it we gave the power to one man to change the way money is spent, investors choosing to raise or lower stocks, and overall influence the way we are connected to our own money. Just because he plays a awesome game of golf? How ill does a society have to become to do this to someone? We have no right to raise someone like that up to cause such a ripple in our global economy. Look deep inside yourself and ask that question and listen to what your soul's response is.

Tiger Woods Link (read on when you are done)

Now before everyone starts to think I take the celebrity's side on everything and boo to the media listen to this. We also shouldn't be paying them this much to make a living. How the money is being thrown at these people is embarrassing to humanity. Why on earth would we do this to people knowing that they will fall because well go figure they are human. These aren't priests people they took no vow to do no wrong guess what they are going to do with all that money? Live it up! And you are surprised? What I said when I heard Tiger did wrong by his family is that family must be sad and come on Tiger get it together. I wasn't surprised though. How would one live if they had a microscope up their butt all the time looking for something wrong. The media have a job to do also. They were originally designed and hired to report just bad news. After all that is what we buy. How sad is that? I choose not to look for bad news. I actually look for good news and find it a challenge in the news networks. I always can find a plethora of bad and think of this "it is a challenge to find good news" that paradigm needs changing doesn't it? So I'm not coming down on the news and media I'm saying there is a SERIOUS imbalance there and it needs repairing. I don't mind finding out someone is in distress so I'm aware to say a blessing for them, but when 98% (this is not a legitimate statistic no actual scientific data was accumulated to generate this number!) of what you report is negative guess what you are creating in the world. More of same.

Now back to what I wanted to discuss originally handing over the power to let one persons bad news affect the global economy is this wise? No. I understand we all love a hero. We all want someone to be a role model. We'd love it if there was just one good person above all who had the need and desire to live the line of good conduct no matter the face of adversity that shown up. Folks it is just a dream. Every person has their own journey and their journey isn't to fulfill your fantasies of being a hero. Heroes aren't made on an assembly line just for your amusement nor is a celebrities life either. They started out wanting to make a living just like you to do these things they are doing. They are going to live a life just like you when they aren't on the clock and make mistakes just like we do that is it? Why be entertained finding out they are human beings like you? Let go and just say a blessing for them that they find their way back to humanity and make amends with their own created demons. The only difference between them and us is the media works 24/7 with a camera on them at all times for our amusement. Imagine for a moment you had a flock of media folk recording every move you made in the public's eye. Every time you stumbled in life there it was on the evening news. Look folks so and so picked his nose in traffic today WOW! Stop being amused and they will stop pointing the camera in their direction. Let them be human and enjoy the career choices they have made. Appreciate them for what they are such as a great golfer and let the rest go. Allowing them change or dictate the way we spend money is nonsense. They have their careers to worry about. They do not think of how you spend or invest your money nor do they care nor should they! They care of only the things that make the most sense to them. How do they feed and clothe the ones they love and themselves. That is it and that is how it should be.

Lastly if we spent more time on discovering ourselves and learning about our own potentials and passions in life and less on the habits of others and their lifestyles we would discover a better way to spend and or invest our money and raise this economy out of the shit hole it was in 2009. HAPPY New Year everyone! May we all find our way in this lifetime.

Self Realization Can Be A Bitch

Self realization or purpose can be a bitch at times. Especially when answering that question of what do I want to be when I grow up at 41. I am reading materials that are smacking me in the face hard telling me I need to be truthful about my intentions of wants and desires. To listen to my honest voice inside my soul screaming at me to do what is beneficial for the universe not just for my wallet. All the while the harsh reality of being jobless in a superiorly lacking market is prevalent in the here and now. I’m constantly in inner conflict with my upbringing of do what feeds the family piss on what you want to do versus do what your soul’s purpose is so you don’t have to come back and relearn all this shit all over again. Personally these past forty years have been a trying time for me with soul learning. I really have no desire to go through this again, I’m pooped. I “know” so much can’t I just get an honorary degree and move on already! Isn’t just being aware of what I was supposed to do half the battle of learning and experiencing it! This is the battle raging on in my mind. If you read the subtitle you’ll see why there is such inner turmoil. You have viewed it all along and that is why in my gamer realm back in the day I was known as the bitter ranger. He was great with a bow yet shitty as hell with life’s lessons. Made for a real gritty character, loved playing him. I am happy believe it or not. Most of my inner demons are vexed and I’m okay with it finally. There is this little one left that is not just a hump in the road for me but more like a cliff. It involves not just making life crappy for me but taking a huge risk with the family I have as well. I can’t keep denying my creative Self.

No matter where I venture there it is like a monkey on my back. From my early tweenhood days when Ma bought me a typewriter (Brother even had a self correcting ribbon!) and I sat there for days hammering away taking characters through many a journey to going to college to learn how to “Paint a God Damn Barn 101” and all sorts of pretty paintings. Every job I took after college I was there shoving creativity into it even if it wasn’t necessary. It is a virus much like the one you get in your Windows machine that slowly eats away to the brink of it not allowing you to do anything anymore. That is to shut itself down almost entirely. Such has become the road I’m on. I go from place to place experiencing all it has to offer then either I’m asked to leave or I choose to leave due to losing my sanity if I stay there any longer. Then there I am again. Wondering where I am to go next what to do next and still coming back to me is that little voice of self truth again saying “Pick me! Oh pick me!” That little fellow, Art is his name, in the back arm raised voice barely audible ants in the pants dancing in the chair begging me to pick him. Then I flash back to my last college days. I visualize the potent dose of reality of when I was in my senior thesis class with Bob Mazur respected entrepreneur artist drawing that huge circle on the black board with a very small slice of the pie chart saying “That is you.” Addressing to the whole class, “Look at the guy or gal next to you and every other artist out there in the world and this is your percentage (actually less than one percent) and that is what you’ll be competing for everyday to be an artist.” Of course I scream in my own mind at the time “What the FUCK!” and the reality of where I didn’t want to be comes forward. Thus is the term starving artist.

When you do decide to ‘play ball’ and become an artist you have to get a manager who gets a cut like ANYONE in the arts of his/her 45 - 55 percent blah, blah, blah you get the picture. You want to know why you may not be able afford art from a ‘real’ artist there is the reason. They have to jack prices so high in price to justify their lifestyles. This behavior is rather pathetic in my eyes, but such is capitalism. So flash forward to why I go IT job to IT job. I studied computer art thinking my chances were more reasonable then of becoming seen but reality hits again. Sweat shop 3D modeling and anyone who is any good is an elite few with no life but their work. Well I am interested in having a life and to create art not churn out someone else’s vision all day that doesn’t have any of me in it. Let’s face it that art isn’t my own. I’d be a cog in a larger machine just to see my title come up at the end of a movie for a brief moment. The only folks that would have ANY clue would be east coast west coast producers / movie house folks who’ll judge me by how well I played ball with the team. Once again not satisfying nor creating. If I do it I want the credit for my own and I want my art to be viewed as a piece standing alone for the world to judge how well I entertained them for that very moment their eyes rested on the piece. The moment where the viewer stepped just outside him/herself for a brief moment grabbed the ethereal, held it there, and enjoyed or loathed the artwork then stepped aside deciding if they wasted their time viewing that or not. One thing I do credit Bob Mazur for or applaud him is the fact he kept it practical. “Either you like it or you don’t there is no in between.”

I so wanted that moment but I have a family to raise so the German farming heritage practical side takes over and kicks Art square in the nuts tells him to shut the fuck up and sit down and don’t let out another squeal ever again. We are responsible adults here who are raising children for God’s sake how could one think of such dribble. Practical people get real jobs that pay well and have insurance benefits and 401K’s and don’t chase after fantastical dreams of fulfilling the soul’s sense of painting pretty pictures for the world to love! How dare you Art for suggesting such nonsense shame on you! Art regresses holding his package and recesses to the back of the mind sobbing quietly as possible to not bother anyone until the next employment is lost. There is no point in denying that this mortal shell gets in the way of the purpose. That this ‘experience’ we have to go through that is just a blink in the time line of life is something that is endured by choice and how we decide to live it is up to us. A major part of parenting is role modeling and as I have always said role models start at the top. What these daughters of mine see is what makes Dad happy or sad. Thus is the battle within. This insight will influence their behavior later on what they should do with their lives when it comes to these decisions. Personally the advice I lend out is “Do what makes you truly happy.” This is where I am the hypocrite! How can I say such a thing if I in this one area in my life don’t set the truest of examples? Now therein lays the conflict. Why even blog about it? That is why I am saying there were few in many a lifetimes that got it right straight out of the gate. It doesn’t appear I will be one of those.